One Departure, Four Arrivals
by Montana-Rosalie
Summary: Max leaves Seattle and Logan. Many things can change in nine months.
1. Apart

**This is a little 'what if' story with 4! 'what if' endings, all with the premise that Max didn't came back in **Blah Blah, Woof Woof**. This chapter is sort of an intro, and those that will follow can each be viewed as the conclusion; chapter 2 is the happy ending, chapter 3 is the shifted cannon ending, chapter 4 is the surprise ending and chapter 5 is the frustrating ending. :D I'll try to be speedy with updates considering the fact that it's all on my hard-drive, and some of it needs just a little editing. Hope you enjoy. **

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**She stops half-way to the steps of his uncle's cabin and turns around, the need to look at him one more time too strong to resist. The pain in his eyes reflects the one deep inside of her and she goes back, takes his face in her hands and kisses him, trying to show him how badly she wants to stay.

He looks at her and she feels tears prickling her eyes, but when he tells her to go, she does. She walks away, up the steps and into the cabin, slamming the door behind her and leaning against it for support.

She doesn't think anything was ever harder to do than leaving him behind.

There's silence outside, and she feels a surge of hope that he changed his mind, but then he starts the car and drives away, back to Seattle, back to his mission.

She promises herself that someday, she'll come back and see him again.

* * *

She wakes Zack in the middle of the night and demands them to go, now. The thoughts about Logan are driving her crazy and she's afraid she'll never really leave if she stays here for a single more minute. Zack seems to understand and doesn't argue with her, so they are on their way well before dawn. They hitch a ride on the back of a truck on its way to Canada and she spends most of the morning arguing with him. He claims that she can't go back to Seattle for at least a year and she already knows that she can't stay away for that long.

She tells Zack that she'll go back in six months and not a day longer, which only earns her another lecture about phony sentimentality that will get her and her friends killed.

Finally, they agree on nine months and she tries not to think about how much can change in such a long time.

The only thing she's got of Logan is a memory of their first kiss. She hopes it won't be the last, but she still has a strong urge to jump off the truck and run back, across all the miles already between them, just to hear him say her name. She's one of the few people on the planet who can pull it off, but she's the only one who mustn't even try.

* * *

She dozes off, rocked to sleep with the movement of the truck and the sound of the threads on the highway. In her dream, she's wearing a white dress and she asks Logan to dance with her, and even though it's impossible, he gets up from his wheelchair and takes her in his strong, sure arms, and they dance.

She tells him not to let her go, and he promises he won't, but when he kisses her, his lips are cold and she wakes to Zack shaking her, telling her that they've reached their destination.

She must've slept for a long time because it's already dark, but it felt like Logan was holding her for only a few minutes, and it wasn't enough.

She knows it would never be enough.

Her lips are still buzzing with the kiss, but she can't shake the cold.

* * *

Nine months consists of 388800 minutes, and she's fairly certain that time slowed down after she left Seattle. It's not just that the days drag by; hours do too, and every week feels like an eternity.

Zack's got some connections in this sleepy little Canadian town and finds her a job as a waitress in a diner on the outskirts of town, and gives her some money to buy a few items of clothing and basic necessities. He's also got good looks and charm, and townspeople believe every lie he tells them.

They go to sleep in a tiny bedroom above the diner that will be her home for the next nine months, and when she wakes up, Zack is already gone.

Every day she puts on a pink apron and a name tag that reads Lucy, goes downstairs and does her thing, greeting the locals with a few words and a hollow smile, answering their questions about what she did last night without enthusiasm and rarely the truth.

And even acting like that, a fellow waitress stubbornly befriends her and although Max will never tell her the story of her life, she finds herself telling her about Logan. She never mentions his name and leaves the details of their working relationship a little hazy, but the rest is more or less true. Noelle seems to understand her pain and the need to talk to someone about him and never complains.

It's not just Logan she misses, she tells Noelle. She misses OC and Kendra too, the crowd at Crash, the crew from Jam Pony, even Normal. She misses her Ninja and her apartment and Space Needle, but all of it pales in comparison with Logan, and that's why she's mostly talking about him.

When Noelle suggests that she calls him, she can think of a dozen reasons why she shouldn't, and she's not allowed to tell her a single one.

Max is almost thankful that his cable-hacks don't reach this far north, because his eyes alone would probably undo her and she can't let that happen.

She manages to resist Noelle's nudging for a long time, but the night that marks three quarters of her time away from Seattle, she finally picks up the phone and dials his number, her fingers shaking.

No one answers, and she hangs up the phone as soon as his answering machine kicks in, but it's too late; her heart is breaking again, the aching need to see him coming back full blast.

She knows she must soldier on, even though every day she stays here is killing her inside, and she tries to tell herself that everything will be okay, but she doesn't believe her own words.

* * *

Zack blows back into town a week before the deadline and seems pleased that she's still there, if a little bit surprised. He gives her the all clear and she says goodbye to Noelle and some of her regular customers, barely keeping herself from blurring out of town at superhuman speed.

They cross the border on foot and he steals a car, dropping her off just outside Seattle, telling her to take care of herself. She quickly hugs him and then she's on the move, running down the dirty streets, realizing she missed their familiarity too.

Her destination is, of course, Fogle Towers, and she doesn't care about anything except seeing Logan. It's well past midnight and she hasn't eaten since noon, she's dirty and a little tired, which makes her cranky and not even slightly embarrassed to be on the verge of tears. She sneaks into his building through the garage and seeing his car sends a much needed surge of relief though her.

She takes the stairs rather than waiting for an elevator and pauses only for a moment outside his door before breaking in.

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	2. Together

**So here it is, first of the four endings... & fluffy all the way. :D**

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**Most of the apartment is dark, but the soft blue light of the computer monitors is spilling down the hall and she smiles, tiptoeing through dining and living room and stopping in the doorway, her eyes resting on Logan's hunched form, still at it even at this hour.

She's filled with breathy anticipation, and can't even attempt cocky banter right now; she can't think of anything else to say except his name, her voice shaky and husky, but audible enough in the midnight silence.

Logan goes still, then turns around slowly and she steps out from the shadows and into the pale circle of light surrounding him.

''Hey'', she says, her eyes widening in awe as it finally registers that he's really just two feet away from her. She's almost afraid to believe it's real, that he's alive and not any worse for wear then the last time she saw him.

''Hey yourself'', he says automatically, and she smiles, stepping even closer. He just stares up at her in amazement, and when he reaches for her hand it looks like he's doing it to convince himself that she's really standing in front of him.

They never held hands before, but their fingers move in a perfectly synchronized dance, entwining together as their eyes remain locked. When he finally smiles, Max thinks it's the most beautiful thing in the world. Tears of joy spring to her eyes and she blinks a few times to keep them at bay, but Logan still notices.

''Don't get all mushy on me now that you're finally back'', he teases and Max laughs, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his lips before she gives herself time to overthink.

He kisses her back, and she finally knows what coming home feels like.

She's thankful that he doesn't ask where she'd been and why she never called, thankful that he he doesn't let go of her hand when he asks her if she's hungry.

She watches him prepare her a snack in the dimly lit kitchen and for the first time in her life feels like she belongs.

They snuggle up on the couch as soon as she's done eating and she loses herself in Logan's scent, in Logan's arms, in his kisses.

Now that she's with him like this, she feels that it was all worth it; the pain of being apart, the uncertainty of the miles and countries between them.

All he's gotta do is say her name and nine months just melt away.

She hopes that she'll never have to leave him again, because this time, she'd know what she would be missing being away from him.

* * *

She notices how tired he is and keeps pestering him to to bed until he agrees, but only on the condition that she goes with him. He even promises to keep his hands to himself, and she doesn't tell him that it's the last thing she wants.

After she takes a quick shower, not even hot water making her stay away form him longer than it's absolutely necessary, she emerges from the bathroom clad only in her slightly stretched boxers and black sports bra, feeling tingly at the prospect of sharing the bed with the man of her dreams. The look he's giving her doesn't help her relax at all, even though she knows it's too early for anything physical, and that they're both exhausted.

There's gonna be plenty of time in the future, but she still blushes fiercely at her thoughts.

She tiptoes across the room and climbs in next to him, nestling around a bit before settling into his open arms. His bed is the most comfortable in the whole world and she sighs with content, wiggling closer to him and finding a perfect position. Her bare leg slides between his and she rests her head against his shoulder, her arm wrapping around his waist.

She's not gonna let him go anytime soon.

''If I knew your bed was this comfortable, I wouldn't be agreeing on sleeping in the guest bedroom all those times'', she tells him, her tone teasing, and he smiles faintly, his arms tightening around her for a moment.

''If I knew how good it felt to have you in my bed, I'd offer you to sleep with me a long time ago'', he replays and colors when he realizes what he just said.

''Is that right, Mr. Cale?'' Max giggles and he rolls his eyes.

''You know what I meant.''

''Yeah, but it's fun grilling you a little when you're so damn polite all the time'', she tells him, snuggling closer. It appears nothing is close enough. She closes her eyes, knowing that she's just moments from falling asleep, and she needs to tell him one more thing before she does.

''Logan?''

''Hmm?''

''Tomorrow, when you wake up, don't go anywhere, okay? Wait for me'', she tells him, her voice hushed, soft.

''Always'', he whispers against her ear and presses a kiss on her forehead.

She believes him and drifts off to untroubled sleep.

* * *

It's the middle of the morning when she wakes up, and she's a little woozy from sleeping so long. She opens her eyes and the haze instantly clears when she sees Logan looking at her with the gentlest of expressions on his handsome face. His smile is tugging on her heartstrings and she feels slightly overwhelmed because it's impossible not to think about the time they were apart now that he's here, holding her and looking at her like she's his whole world.

The truth is that he's hers, and what hurts the most is the knowledge that she'd never let herself cross that fine line between them if it wasn't for their forced separation.

''Hey'', she breathes, feeling her eyes watering and averting her gaze from him, telling herself that she's not gonna cry, that everything's okay now and she won't have to leave him again.

''Shhh'', he murmurs and pulls her closer to him, the gentleness of his actions making the tears spill down her cheeks silently, but she smiles because she knows deep down inside that from now on everything's gonna be okay.

Logan wipes away her tears and kisses her, one arm around her waist shifting her on top of him. Max feels a tiny pang of disappointment, like she just lost a secret, but then he looks at her with a wide smile and she shakes the melancholy and sadness away; it all starts now.

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	3. Distance

**This part is probably the most depressive... It's exactly what would've happened on the show if Max hadn't called and went back to give Logan that transfusion, so there you have it. Read at your own risk. :)**

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**She knows that something's not right the second she opens the door. The place feels abandoned, the air is stuffy and there's a layer of dust on everything, and her heart starts beating faster with fear.

There are no signs of any struggle, and most of the furniture is in place, but some of the paintings and sculptures are missing from their usual places. She'd think he moved, but all the computer equipment is still there, she knows that the Aztek is in the garage, and when she finds his wheelchair in the corner of the living room the panic sweeps over her and she calls out his name.

Not even echo answers her and she's certain that something bad happened to him, and it's her fault because she wasn't there to stop it.

She picks up the phone and dials Bling's number.

''Where is he?'' She speaks without a greeting, and the desperation in her own voice brings her close to tears.

''Max, is that you?'' Bling asks, and although he sounds calm, there is something in his voice that intensifies her fear even more.

''Yes, it's me. Where's Logan?''

''Where are you?'' Bling bypasses her question and there's a part of her that's already screaming.

''He's not here'', she says, and her voice is soft, completely unlike her, shaking on every word.

''I'll be there in ten minutes'', Bling tells her and she hangs up, feeling drained, trying so hard not to think at all. She sits down on the couch and stares at the dark, silent monitors in his office, almost surprised when she feels moisture on her hand and realizes she's crying.

* * *

Bling comes exactly twelve minutes later and finds her curled up on the couch, shaking with sobs, and his usually calm presence does nothing to soothe her. She doesn't want to hear what he's gonna tell her, but she needs to know, so she sits up and asks him what happened to Logan. Tears are still streaming down her face and Bling offers her a hankie, but she just looks at him and waits for her world to crumble down around her.

Bling sits down on the couch next to her and tells her that Logan died the day after she left Seattle.

She's never been so numb with pain before; not when she watched Eva die, not when she had to leave Brin to Manticore doctors, not even when she walked away from Logan.

She wonders briefly if a person can die from grief.

Bling explains the medical facts in a voice filled with compassion; he tells her all about the short supply of blood, especially Logan's blood type, and it kills her to know that she could've easily transfuse him and save him in a heartbeat. Bling thinks he's helping, but he's just pouring salt on her wounds and she doesn't even have the strength to stop him.

''Did he suffer?'' She asks, tasting tears on her lips when she speaks, thinking how it doesn't even matter now. She wasn't there, and nothing matters anymore.

''No. He never woke up after the surgery'', Bling tells her gently and squeezes her hand.

She doesn't know what to do now. What drove her forward thought the lonely months was the prospect of seeing Logan again, and now that he's gone there's emptiness everywhere around her, and a Logan-shaped hole in her heart that nothing would ever fill.

She breaks down and Bling sits with her, saying nothing, her hand still in his.

* * *

She stands in the Cale family mausoleum, cold and hard like the stone beneath her feet, staring at the words that read Logan's name.

He was just thirty-two years old. His mother was thirty-nine, his father forty-three, and none of it is fair.

Max can't cry anymore; seeing his grave doesn't make her miss him any less and it's not an absolution she hoped for when she came here.

She's back to living with Kendra and hanging out with OC and Normal is her boss again, she still climbs to the top of the Space Needle at night and speeds down otherwise silent streets on her Ninja, but none of it means much to her.

After work, she often finds herself half-way down Pine on her way to Logan's place before she remembers he's not there anymore. The apartment has been on the market since he died, but no one wants to buy it, and Max is thankful because, sometimes, she keeps going and turns on 1st Avenue, sneaking into Fogle Towers and breaking into his place just like she used to when he was still alive.

It's strange to think of him as dead, and it's even stranger standing at his grave and not believing he's really gone.

Those times she can't resist going back to his place, she strips her clothes methodically, leaving them neatly folded in the hallway, and goes into his bedroom. She puts on one of his T-shirts that still smell of detergent, fabric softener and a tiny hint of Logan her cat nose can't miss and climbs into his bed. Laying under the covers doesn't bring her any closer to him, but her pain always eases. Sometime she tries to sleep, sometimes not, but she's mostly wide awake despite her best efforts.

Her days are spent making deliveries, waiting for something to happen. Zack appears out of nowhere again and asks for her help with saving Tinga and her family. When they lose her to Lydecker, Max begins to believe her life isn't really worth living. She's tired of running, tired of staying, tired of losing people she loves.

She's even tired of missing Logan. Occasionally, she even regrets meeting him, but the sentiment is always short-lived and she knows that, had she known how everything would end, she would've loved him anyway.

Charlie's words echo back to her, high on top of the Space Needle, and she repeats them out loud, hoping Logan can hear her, wherever he is now: ''I wouldn't give up one minute of the time that we spent together. Not a second.''

She feels every word all the way to her soul.

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	4. May

**First I gotta say, thanks for all the feedback, guys. It means a lot to me. This chapter totally ran away on me, but I'm still kinda satisfied with how it turned out. :) Hope you enjoy.**

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**Max closes the door and looks around the place with wide eyes, having trouble registering exactly what she's seeing. There are various items strewn all over the floor, and it's the last place she'd expect to see them.

Logan's apartment is littered with toys.

She hears a giggle from the dining room and follows the sound, freezing just outside the doorway, floored with the scene in front of her. There's a girl about four years old sitting under the table, and there's Logan, with his back to Max, trying to coax the child from under it.

Max is fairly certain that this is just a weird dream, her subconsciousness trying to tell her something or other.

''C'mon May, it's really time to go to sleep'', Logan says, not even trying to reach for the girl.

It appears this is a common thing for the middle of the night in the Cale penthouse.

''May doesn't sleep'', the girl tells him, but crawls from under the table never the less and Logan scoops her in his lap.

''Just a few hours? For daddy?'' he offers, and Max can't make any sense of what she's witnessing.

''In daddy's bed?''

Max stares at Logan's back as he chuckles, kisses the girl and turns around, his eyes widening when he sees Max lurking in the hallway, looking at him with a bewildered expression.

A few things happen simultaneously: Max sees the child's face and it's her own only tiny, Logan breathes her name, and May launches herself from Logan's lap, shrieks ''mommy'' and wraps her arms around Max' legs in a vice-like hug, almost tackling her to the floor.

Logan shakes himself out of his stupor and somehow manages to pry the girl away from her and back into his lap, all the time studiously avoiding Max' questioning eyes.

''I'll explain'', he tells her, and Max is too distracted with May to respond. ''Max? Are you okay?'' He asks, and she somehow forces herself to focus back on him. She really looks at him for the first time since coming in, and even though he looks exhausted, he also seems calmer than she ever saw him before, somehow less driven. He meets her eyes and it's like magic because she's finally here and Logan is looking at her with his feelings for her clearly displayed on his face, in his green, impossibly beautiful eyes.

She takes a step toward him but he breaks eye contact and tells her that he's just gonna take May to bed and that she can find something to eat in the fridge.

May is looking at her over Logan's shoulder, but Max is too stunned to try to follow them, and when she hears May asking why mommy can't tuck her in she goes to the kitchen and sits down on a bar stool, waiting to wake up. She tries to rationalize what she just saw, starting to think it's not a dream only when she pinches herself hard enough to leave a bruise and still doesn't wake up.

She's one hundred percent sure that she didn't gave birth in the past five years, but she doesn't know what's the other explanation for May calling her mommy and looking just like her. She's getting a headache and pops a few pills of tryptophan in her mouth just in case the seizures are around the corner. Then it dawns on her: May looks like her because she's her clone, because she's an X-something, because she's Manticore.

Max hides her face in her hands and decides not to think about anything until Logan explains to her what the hell is going on.

The sound of his voice as he says her name from the doorway startles her and she looks up, not sure which question to ask him first.

''Why does she think I'm her mother?'' Max blurts out, and Logan shakes his head, clearly embarrassed with what he did.

''I'm sorry for that. I needed to tell her something, and I didn't think you'd be coming back, so I...'', he trails off and his eyes flicker to hers for a moment before he finishes:''I showed her your picture and told her you had to go away when she was still a baby. I'm sorry, really, I-'', he shakes his head again and falls silent.

Max feels a myriad of different emotions; she's angry because he thought she'd never come back, she's confused about the mini-her sleeping in Logan's room, but she's also touched that he's taking care of a Manticore child, that he didn't only took her in but let her call him daddy… She's not sure how she feels about him telling May that Max is her mother.

''How did you free her from Manticore?'' She asks him next, wondering if Zack had anything to do with it and how dead he's gonna be if he had and didn't tell her.

''I didn't. One of my informants stumbled across her, sleeping in a cardboard box in some back alley and called me to find her a home. We met and I saw the barcode when he was putting her in the back seat, and I didn't know what else to do with her except keep her with me.'' He smiles faintly at the memory and Max thinks that this father thing is really working for him. ''I faked her birth certificate and proclaimed her my own daughter, which made my uncle Jonas demand that I ship her back to wherever she came from. He should've known that it would only make me hold onto her stronger.''

''How in the world she managed to escape Manticore?''

''I don't know. When I asked her about it, she told me that Manticore is just a make believe story.''

Max smiles at that, remembering her own thoughts on the subject when she escaped, wishing that she had someone like Logan to take care of her.

''And you named her May'', she says softly, and he offers a crooked smile.

''Yeah. It wasn't May when we found her, though'', he tells her and the look in his eyes is slightly haunted. ''She looked like tiny you, and it was the only name that fit other than your own, and I couldn't make myself call her Max… She reminds me of you too much as it is.''

Max sits still, not knowing what to say to him. She wants to pour her heart out, but it doesn't feel like the right time so she says nothing.

Logan rests his head against his hand and she can clearly see that he's fighting sleep. He notices her look and shakes himself, sitting a little straighter.

''Why don't you go to sleep? You look exhausted'', she prods.

''I can't. She'll be up in no time and I can't let her wander around here alone.''

''Shouldn't she sleep though the night already? She's what? Four?''

''She's an X-8, so yeah, about four. But I think she's got shark DNA, like you do, because her record of sleeping is four hours, and that was only once so far'', Logan tells her, smiling at her with something suspiciously like fatherly pride.

''Anybody been helping you with her?'' The questions just keep on coming, and Max is glad he answers them all with complete honesty.

''Bling babysits for a few hours in the morning so that I can get some sleep, but I don't really trust anybody else with her, so it's mostly just the two of us.''

''How about her mommy? You'd trust her?'' Max teases, and he looks like he's gonna go on the defensive again, so she starts talking again. ''Hey, it's okay. She does look just like me and she's too young to be my sister, so this mother thing isn't so far off the mark. And she does inspire this need in me to look after her.''

''Max, you really don't have to. She's my responsibility.''

''No. She's ours'', Max says, and her eyes hold him, trying to convey her feelings, everything she would tell him if there wasn't a baby between them, demanding all of their attention now.

His hand reaches across the table for hers and when their fingers touch, Max decides that if this turns out to be a dream after all, she never wants to wake up.

* * *

Logan warms the leftovers from dinner for her and goes to sleep into the guest bedroom, and Max quickly devours her food before taking a shower and sneaking into the master bedroom.

May is diagonally stretched across the king-sized bed, almost lost among the white covers. Max sits on the floor next to her and her eyes travel over the chubby cheeks, tiny nose and full lips opened in a perfect 'o', the locks of dark hair surrounding the pretty face like a halo. She knows already that she's gonna love this baby because she's hers in a way not ever her biological child would be; their blood is exactly the same.

May sighs and her eyes open, focusing instantly on Max, her lips stretching into a wide grin as she sits up, calls her mommy again and crawls to the edge of the bed, sliding into her lap.

Max wraps her arms around her and inhales the sweet baby-scent that surrounds her and maybe there are tears in her eyes, but she can't remember ever being this happy. She's back, Logan is okay and one of the Manticore children is safe in her arms, at least for the time being.

She never used to be this emotional, but she guesses that's what happens when you have someone and then have to leave them behind.

May clings to her like she'll never let her go and Max lets a few tears roll down her cheeks, kissing the top of the child's head.

''Why is mommy crying?' May asks innocently, and Max smiles, wiping away the tears and brushing the soft hair away from May's forehead.

''Because she's happy to see her little girl.''

May beams, then considers something and asks in a hopeful voice that breaks Max' heart: ''Mommy won't leave again?''

''Not in a million years'', Max reassures her and the beaming smile is back full force.

''Come see'', May clambers from her lap and starts pulling her toward the door, and Max finds herself shushing her because ''daddy is asleep''.

May makes a show of sneaking down the hall and Max can't remember if they started her training that early back at Manticore or not. It doesn't really matter, because May is free of all that now.

They enter May's room, and if Max ever saw toy-land, this is it. Stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes cover every inch of free space; there are Barbie-dolls and dolls bigger than May herself, cars and trains and tea sets, the mess of it all making it hard to move without the danger of stepping onto something.

''Wow'', Max finds herself saying, and May leads her toward her bed, bringing her various toys, every one properly introduced to her with names like Mr. Bear, Tina and Joe Junior. The child in Max that grew up without any od this is having a field day, but the more responsible part is worried that Logan went a little bit overboard. She'll have to talk to him about how bad spoiled children are.

''I'm hungry'', May announces after about half an hour, looking expectantly at Max with wide dark eyes.

Max scoops her up and carries her to the kitchen, setting her on the counter as she rummages through the fridge in search for something to give her. She takes out the milk and finds cereal in the cupboard, deciding it's her safest bet. May watches her every move and Max hopes she won't mess anything (including her meal) up, the thought of disappointing this little girl that looks like her too painful to entertain.

* * *

Bling arrives at 5:30 and does a double take when he sees Max in the living room, watching cartoons with May on Logan's laptop. He recovers fairly quickly and greets them both, but May is too invested in her cartoon to really acknowledge him.

Max does the chit-chat thing for a while and then asks him about Eyes Only. It's been bugging her ever since she fired up the laptop and saw that there wasn't a single file about corrupt politicians on it. She was so curious about what happened that she almost went to wake up Logan and ask him, but then she remembered how tired he looked when he went to bed and decided to wait. Bling tells her that Logan closed the Informant Net a few months after she left, right after May turned up.

Max is more shocked with this revelation than anything else she found out over the course of the last six hours.

''I can't believe he gave everything up'', she says to herself, absentmindedly running her fingers through May's hair.

''It was impossible to keep it up with an X-8 baby running around, demanding almost 24 hours attention'', Bling says softly, and Max nods.

''I know, but still…''

''It was either Eyes Only or May, and I can tell you that there wasn't any contest.''

Max looks down at the child in question, sitting in her lap and intently watching Tom chase Jerry around the kitchen, giggling when he gets his tail flattened.

She used to think there wasn't a thing in this world that would make Logan Cale give up his mission, but when May looks back at her and smiles, she's not the least bit surprised that she was the one who made him do it, succeeding where everybody else, including Max, failed.

* * *

The rhythm of her life changes very little compared to how it was before May. She goes to work at Jam Pony, drops by Logan's for lunch or eats with OC and Kendra on a park bench somewhere, rides again, goes home, hangs out at Crash, has dinner with Logan and May and takes care of her when Logan goes to sleep around midnight. The logistics of it isn't all that different from EO missions.

She wouldn't trade her life now for any other in the world. There's not been a single incident with Lydecker and Manticore in months and even though she knows better than to relax yet (or ever), she's got a feeling that she's back under the radar.

On a warm September night, she tucks May in and sits next to her for a while, watching her sleep, her little hands clutching a white stuffed elephant with blue dots named Tony to her chest. She's a picture of complete innocence and Max has never loved anybody more than she loves her.

Half-closing the door behind her, she goes to the living room and finds Logan on the couch, apparently waiting for her. She'd been wondering when would they discuss their relationship; the parting kiss, the pain they both went through while being apart, the fact that they're not 'not like that' anymore.

Max detours into the kitchen and brings a bottle of wine and a pair of glasses with her. She hands the bottle to Logan and watches him open it and pour them each a generous amount of dark red liquid before handing her the bottle back.

She sits down next to him, her legs tucked beneath her and her side pressed against the back of the couch so that she's facing him.

Nobody speaks, and Max looks at his eyes, completely aware that this is the turning point.

''So'', they both start and chuckle, the awkwardness fading.

''I missed you'', Logan tells her and she knows exactly what he's referring to.

''I missed you'', she echoes, and continues on. ''I wanted to come back sooner, but Zack convinced me that it was too dangerous not only for me but for you too, and OC and everyone I knew'', she wants him to know she never would've left if she had a choice. Looking at him like this, their faces just inches apart, she can't comprehend how she managed to survive so long without him.

''I understand'', Logan reassures her, bringing his hand up to cup her face, his long fingers tangling in her hair. Her eyes flicker to his lips and he moves, slowly brushing his lips against hers, pulling away just far enough to check her reaction.

She frames his face with her hands and pulls him back to her, getting lost in his kiss, in the taste of his lips and the way he smells, the way he touches her face, the way he murmurs her name.

They're both breathless before long and she shifts onto his lap, looking at him for approval. They're careful with each other, neither wanting to rush, both desperate for physical contact. Max kisses his jaw and runs her hands under his T-shirt, her fingers trailing over his stomach, brushing his hips and counting the vertebrae as he pulls her closer to him, his hands going up her shirt.

''What are you doing?'' May speaks from behind them, and Max smiles against Logan's mouth, looking at him through her eyelashes. His eyebrow rises comically and she turns around and reaches for the girl, scooping her up and settling her down between the two of them.

''Is it too early for the flowers and bees talk?'' Logan asks, and Max giggles.

''Way early.''

May is looking from her to Logan and back with a cute frown on her face, clearly confused.

''Why aren't you asleep?'' Max asks gently, hoping to steer her away from the subject of her parents making out on the couch. She feels hot and Logan's hand is still around her waist, additionally burning her skin, distracting her.

''I heard strange sounds'', May tells them seriously and Logan chuckles, brushing dark locks from her forehead.

''It was just daddy showing mommy that he loves her'', he tells her and Max smiles softly at the indirect admission. Both May and Logan look at her with identical, serene expressions on their faces and she realizes that even though May looks like her, it's clear she's Logan's daughter too.

''I love you too'', she tells him and May beams; it appears that no further explanations will be needed.

May leans against Logan's chest and Max presses a kiss first against her forehead, then Logan's mouth.

''Let's go pumpkin, back to bed for a few more hours'', she says and raises from Logan's lap, picking up May and mouthing 'bedroom' to Logan before carrying her back to her room. She tucks her in again, turns off the lamp on the bedside table and goes to the master bedroom, bouncing down the hall in anticipation.

Logan's just settling against the headboard when she comes in and she takes off her shirt before jumping on the bed and crawling back onto his lap.

''Now where were we?'' She asks cockily and he guides her hands under his shirt.

''I think about here'', he tells her with a mischievous grin and takes her face in his hands. She leans forward for a kiss but he stops her, looking straight into her eyes when he speaks. ''I really love you, you know?''

''I know. I really love you too'', she whispers and when he kisses her, she knows that this is as close to heaven as you can get here on earth.

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	5. Status Quo

**Okay, last part. Hope you'll enjoy & thanks for reading. :D**

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**Logan isn't at home. She would think nothing of it if the Aztek wasn't in the garage but it is and she worries. She picks up the phone and puts it back down again. She goes into the kitchen, opens the fridge, but takes nothing out. She finally settles on an office chair and waits in the darkness.

He comes in twenty minutes later and rolls right past the office without noticing her. She jumps on her feet and doesn't care if she startles him or not because he's okay, he's here and she's so relieved she could cry.

''Logan!'' She calls after him and when he turns around and looks at her, she gets the feeling that she's not gonna get the fairytale ending she wants.

''Hey'', he goes for the casual greeting, like nothing ever happened, like she wasn't gone for nine months.

''Where were you?'' She blurts, and he raises his eyebrows over the rim of him wire-framed glasses in surprise.

''Where was I?''

''The car's in the garage'', she tries to explain but it's obvious that nothing is going the way it should, the way she expected it to.

''Bling gave me a ride'', he says curtly and motions for her to follow him to the kitchen.

She leans against the counter and watches him make her a sandwich, even though eating is the last thing on ger mind. Her eyes wander over his face, quickly focusing on his hands when he notices what she's doing. He's just the same as always; they talk about the latest Eyes Only case, he doesn't ask her where she'd been again and Max feels like exploding. After nine months of waiting to see him and continue what they started with that kiss at the cabin, he acts like she wasn't even gone, like she was there with him just yesterday.

But she wasn't. She wasn't.

''Do you want some milk?'' He asks, and she glares daggers at him.

''I don't care about stupid milk'', she answers him fiercely, her voice a little harsher than she originally intended.

He doesn't even have the decency to look hurt. ''No milk, then.''

''What the hell is wrong with you?'' She yells, surprising both him and herself, closing the distance between them to stare down at him, trembling with frustration.

Things shouldn't be going like this.

''Excuse me?'' He asks, raising his voice just a little and tilting his head to look at her.

''Didn't you miss me at all?'' She asks a little softer, and a shadow crosses his face, his green eyes darkening with anger when he speaks.

''I did. But you never called'', he tells her and leaves her standing there, staring after him.

She closes her eyes and realizes that she may not be able to fix this.

It's no surprise when she finds him staring out the window in his usual brooding post, and it hurts her to see him like this again.

''I'm sorry'', she apologizes, but the words ring hollowly and he doesn't even look at her. ''Logan?''

''Why did you come back?'' He asks her, and he sounds so defeated that she can't stop herself from bending down and wrapping her arms around him.

''Because I missed you.''

He pulls away and gives her a look that chills her to the bone, because it's clear that he thinks she's just trying to pacify him.

''So the food was that bad?'' He asks with a fake smile when he notices her expression and she drops down on the back rest of the couch, feeling an overwhelming sense of loss.

She messed this one up pretty bad, and everything she says seems to be making matters worse, but she can't give up just yet.

''So the kiss meant nothing to you?'' She asks him one final question and he turns around sharply, looking at her incredulously.

''How can you even ask me that when you're the one who never called?''

''How can you not understand? I tried calling you, and when you didn't answer I didn't try again because I knew that hearing your voice would make me pack my stuff and cover those 500 miles between us in half a night, no matter the consequences!''

He just looks at her and she has to blink back tears.

''Whatever'', she whispers to herself when he remains silent and walks away, digging her nails into her palms to keep from crying.

She lasts only until the elevator door closes after her.

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Kendra wakes her up the next day with a squeak of delight and a fierce hug, telling her how worried everybody was.

''OC went to see Logan and gave him a piece of her mind as soon as he came home from the hospital, but he really had no idea where were you.''

''The hospital?'' Max asks numbly, and Kendra explains about some kind of emergency procedure he had the day she disappeared.

Knowing that she could've lost him months ago makes it a little easier to deal with the pain of his rejection, but it's still almost unbearable.

She had dozens of fantasies of their reunion and not a single one included her waking in her own bed.

''But you're back now, and that's all that's important. Where were you again?'' Kendra asks with a wink and doesn't pry further when Max tells her that she had a family emergency.

OC gives her a once over when she comes into Jam Pony and forces Normal to give her 'homegirl' back her job.

And then, her life is back on track, but it's a painful existence without Logan, made even worse with the knowledge that nothing stops her from going to see him except his rejection.

Her relief is immense when, finally, two weeks after she comes back, he leaves a 911 message on her new pager.

She drops through the skylight and he hesitates for just a moment before he tells her what he needs her to do for him.

They don't mention the fight and she knows that she needs to forget about the kiss and let go of her dreams, but she can't help watching him through different, smitten eyes.

She feels a lot like a school girl, head over heels for a boy who doesn't even know she exists.

And yet, it's better than being away from him, so she goes through the motions of friendship, does the EO missions for him and sometimes with him, eats dinners he cooks and beats him at chess.

She can't believe it used to be enough for her.

Still, sometimes he looks at her in a way that gives her hope that someday, they'll get through this and the time will be exactly right for them.

And she really can't wait for it to happen.

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